Are you tired of being less than you know you can be? Are you thinking about how to be your best? Well as you’re here reading this blog post I’m pretty sure it’s been on your mind.
Are you a bit of a self-development junkie like me or are you just feeling less than you know you can be at the moment?
Sometimes there are things we want to change about ourselves because we can see that they aren’t working. We might be hanging onto something, but we really know deep inside of ourselves that it needs to go. Other times we can’t see the wood for the trees, we know life isn’t working for us but we don’t know where to start.
Personal growth isn’t just about learning. We can devour every resource that we can lay our hands on but if we don’t implement, at least some of what we’ve learned, we may as well not have bothered.
The truth is you have probably already spent a lot of time absorbing information from a multitude of different sources: blog posts, books, podcasts, magazines and videos, but you haven’t taken those next steps to really implement what you’ve learned in a sustained way.
I said Four Easy Steps and I meant it. I’m not going to get you to look at your whole life and address each and every area. Just pick one. The most important one. The one that is keeping you awake at night or sending you to the refrigerator when you aren’t even hungry.
You take that one thing, where you know you can do better, where you’re motivated to be better, and you implement these four steps. You nail them. Then you simply rinse and repeat in whatever part of your life needs attention. Are you ready? Here we go: – WDEP
1 = What do you want?
2 = What are you Doing to get it?
3 = Evaluate
4 = Plan
1. What Do You Want?
Write it down as clearly and succinctly as you can.
When you perceive that you aren’t being the best that you can be, it’s because you are making a comparison between how you see yourself, how you would like to see yourself, and how you think things should be. Therefore, the first thing you need to think about is how realistic is your picture?
This picture of how we want to be and how we think our life should be, in Choice Theory, is called our Quality World. Our Quality World is like an album of all the things that we believe are necessary for us to be happy. Sometimes this is not realistic. Changing or even tweaking some of our Quality World pictures can serve us well if it enables us to work towards things that are achievable.
This could be as simple as changing our dream of being a full time professional singer to accepting that we could probably be happy singing Saturday nights in a local bar and keep our nice secure job that pays the mortgage and keeps the kids in designer sports shoes.
When we are thinking about What we want it’s also important to consider Why we want it. The Why is important for motivation but it can also save us from charging down a rabbit hole to find that it wasn’t at all what we thought it would be, and that it doesn’t make us happy after all. I explain this in more detail in my download Four Days to Feeling Better. You can get that here.
There is one more thing to consider in the What and that is perception. People see things differently all the time, in fact rarely do two people see things in the same way.
People leave relationships all the time because they perceive that their partner doesn’t love them, when actually it is only their perception because their partner might not deliver that love in the way that their Quality World picture and their love language, thinks love should look like. This is just one example of how our perception may not be serving us. In this kind of situation we many only need to change our perception.
So look at your What very carefully and consider where it is realistic and whether your perception of the situation is valid. If not you’ll create a lot of unnecessary unhappiness and stress for yourself.
- What are you Doing to get what you want?
Wanting without doing is dreaming so write down everything you are doing to get what you want.
- Evaluate the effectiveness of what you are doing to get what you want. Make sure that you are not trying to control someone else to get what you want because the only person that you can control, or that you should try to control is yourself.
- After you’ve evaluated the effectiveness of what you are trying to do to be the best you can be you can make a Plan moving forward. This should include continuing what’s working and changing what’s not working.
If you would like a more in-depth framework of WDEP you can get our cheatsheet here, which gives you questions you can ask yourself under each heading, so that you can drill down further and come up with a rock solid plan to be the best that you can be in the area of your life that you’ve chosen.
In the end everything boils down to the choices we make. We can’t control everything but we can control ourselves and that’s actually plenty. We can’t control everything but we get so many opportunities to make choices each and every day about what we do. Ask yourself next time you are reaching for a piece of cake or thinking about driving through MacDonalds: Is this being the best I can be?
Don’t expect perfection, no one is perfect, and your best is always a point on your own particular continuum. If you ate takeaways five days a week and you can cut it down to twice a week, that might be the best you can do right now. But making that choice not to drive through five days will strengthen your resolve and your resilience so that in the future you might be able to save takeaways for a once a month treat.
Please leave a comment below sharing what you are going to do to be your best.
If you would like the download a worksheet to walk you through WDEP in your life click here to practically figure out How to Be Your Best
Thanks for reading 🙂